Look After You
by DancingInStars
Summary: Alternate title: The three times her friends watched her back and one time Sasha Braus looked out for them.
1. If Ever There Was a Doubt

i.

They were in the dining hall the first time it happened.

The first week had crawled by impossibly slowly, one day bleeding into the next in an endless monotone that had enveloped them all within its clutches. The dawn had brought upon a new form of training; hand to hand combat. Shadis had been—as expected—merciless, pushing and shoving and driving them to the brink of their physical and mental capacity despite—or maybe because—knowing that most of them had had zero experience with close quarter combat, or even combat in general.

The trainees that had gathered in the dining hall that night were a tired bunch, bruises dotting their arms and torsos like a trail of gems. It was a testament to their exhaustion that even Eren and Jean were incapable of falling into their usual arguments, biting snipes replaced instead with just an expression of mutual annoyance whenever they were to glance in the other's direction.

Beside Jean, Marco was slumped in his seat, upper body resting on the table with his arms held loosely on either side of him. His groan was partly muffled into the wood, "I'm aching in places I didn't know existed."

Seated at the table beside them, Connie snickered, "That's what he said." This elicited a light giggle from Sasha, religiously munching a potato albeit her weary bones.

Jean, nerves already frayed from the day, shot a glare at their direction. It was a harmless comment, carelessly thrown out just to fill in the silence where their exhaustion reigned—he just needed to let some steam out. He only faltered when he felt a hand on his arm, Marco's silent reprimand holding the embers from flaring, "Let it go, Jean."

His friend rolled his eyes, looking away. "Yeah, whatever. We all know Connie has to result to lame-ass jokes to compensate for other things."

"Oi! I heard that!"

Eren made a noncommittal sound from a few tables down, "That was probably his intention."

"Told you he had to compensate for other things."

Connie had made another sound of protest, but whatever he had intended to say in response was cut off with a yelp instead. A foreign weight had unceremoniously slumped against his side, a head resting against his shoulder and strands of brown hair brushing his cheek.

The girl was asleep, snoring slightly, having finished the potato that she had been devouring earlier. The exhaustion had taken its toll, manifesting itself in her slow breaths and gentle swelling of her chest. Connie's eyes widened, awkwardly petting Sasha on the arm while simultaneously trying to avoid jostling his friend. "S-Sasha?"

At the sound of her name, Sasha's only reaction was to curl up further against him, adjusting her head to fit right into the crook of his shoulder without even gaining consciousness. Marco, watching the exchange from around Jean, let out a soft laugh, "Well, will you look at that…"

There was the sound of shuffling feet from behind them and Mina appeared on Sasha's other side. There was a smile tugging at the other girl's lips, a hand reaching out to land fondly on Sasha's shoulder, "I got her." Mina slid an arm in between them, supporting Sasha by her waist firmly before nudging Connie off the bench. He complied, helping to maneuver the sleeping girl out until she was balanced between them, tilting precariously on her own feet.

Sasha made a noise that was part yawn and part mewl at being moved, moving towards Mina this time in her sleep. The dark haired girl laughed, brushing her friend's brown bangs off her face before repeating her earlier sentiment, "I got her."

IOIOIOI

_If you've made it this, you have my thanks. This is my first time trying my hand at Shingeki no Kyojin (a.k.a Attack on Feels) so I hope I did a decent enough job. _

_D.I.S_


	2. My Love She Leans Into Me

_Quick A/N: JeanSasha is my brotp. I think that you can actually look at this chapter as either platonic or romantic depending on your preference. _

ii.

After they had reclaimed Trost, after the blood and teeth and terror, after the scattered bodies and limb fragments have been collected and their loss accounted for, after that…

Jean had taken to slipping out of bed under the cover of darkness. Marco's bed beside him seemed too big, too empty, yet too little at the same time. It was a reminder of his own failure, a reminder of how helpless they were in the face of the Titans, a reminder that it was the softest bullet ever shot that had wounded him so deeply.

The first few nights had been uneventful , silent other than the sound of his breathing and the whispering of leaves as the wind toyed with them. His footsteps seemed to have echoed the further he walked. In the darkness, he could let himself imagine that he was leaving it all behind, walking further and further away until the shifting shadows swallowed him up, until the weight of it all consumed him entirely.

It was on the second week when he first realized that he wasn't alone.

Her movements were as silent as the night itself, melting in the shadows so effortlessly that he wouldn't have noticed that she was there if it wasn't for the her sniffles. Jean stopped in his tracks, pivoting on his heels to face the direction where he had heard the sound. He recognized the timbre of the voice to call out, "Sasha?"

There was barely enough moonlight for him to see her when she materialized a few feet in front of him, stepping out of the shadows so silently that he only just managed to steel himself to not jump back—barely. It might have been her clothing—loose and baggy—but she suddenly seemed smaller, brown hair freed from its usual ponytail and falling messily around her face. Her bare feet ghosted above the ground, silent as a grave.

"Jean," her greeting was quiet in the night air. She held her arms wrapped around her frame, head tilted upwards to look at him from under her lashes.

Jean understood body language well enough to be able to read the vulnerability in her stance. An owl hooted somewhere above them. Despite himself, Jean felt the back of his neck prickle. "What the hell are you doing?" The words were spoken quietly, no bite present within the syllables.

Sasha shrugged, "I saw you from the pantry window." She extended an arm, holding out a few slices of beef to her friend. "I didn't get much tonight, but we can share."

He eyes it wearily, "At a time like this?"

"Better now than dead." The weight of her words settled around them, looping in the empty spaces and rooting them in place. Jean stared at her for a moment longer, taking in the weary lines under her eyes, the touch of sadness to the curve of her lips. She looked older in the gloom, as if the darkness stretching in every direction around them was feeding her with the years and lifetimes of the friends they loss. With a shudder, Jean wondered if he looked the same way.

He accepted her offerings, watching as her hands curled back to their original position; wrapped around her once more. "Walk with me?"

She nodded, falling in step with him. With her own near silent footfalls beside him now, Jean became more aware of his crunching footsteps in his heavy boots. They walked for a while longer, listening to the sounds of the night swelling around them. Sasha's eyes, albeit tired, were keenly darting this way and that, instinct coming in to play despite—or maybe because of?—the seemingly peaceful night.

It was Jean who finally broke the silence, "You couldn't sleep too?"

"No," Sasha's reply was quiet, "I'm scared of ghosts, Jean. Our dorm is full of them."

IOIOIOI

"I miss Mina."

They had been walking a for a while before Sasha had spoken again. "Before," _before Mina died, before Trost was breach, beforebeforebefore_, "We used to talk until we fell asleep. Sometimes in her bed, sometimes in mine." She left no time for her voice to crack, speaking quickly yet softly into the night, "Now just looking at her bed makes me feel like throwing up, I keep thinking of how scared she must've been. I just… I miss her so much."

Jean felt something stir deep in his chest, whatever force it was tugging him closer to Sasha. "I miss Marco that way too."

IOIOIOI

"I was just wondering, why aren't you wearing shoes?"

Her smile was tired, "Back in my village, they thought us that we should learn to see the world around us through our senses." She looked down, flexing her toes in turn, "I don't know why I remembered that. I guess I just wanted to see if I can still feel something else."

IOIOIOI

"Do you think we'll ever get used to this?"

Jean, despite his better judgment, found himself recalling memories of Eren; rising from the nape of the Titan's neck, being held by a screaming, incoherent Mikasa whose vocabulary had been reduced to nothing more than his name. "I don't think we could," he finally answered, "I think, if the day comes where we ever do, then," he shrugged, holding Sasha's gaze, "We'd probably be just as bad as they are. Nothing more than mindless monsters."

IOIOIOI

A pin prick of light was burning bright against the horizon was their only indication of time. Jean wasn't sure how long they had walked, and Sasha had only recalled wondering when did their supply of food had run out before losing track of time once more.

Jean stopped, stretching his arms over his head to relive his sore joints. "Well, that lasted lo-" Whatever he was going to say next was cut off in favour or a startled cry as Sasha, all 120 pounds of her, went hurtling straight into him, her thin yet defined arms coming around him and meeting low on his back, her face pressed into the crook of his neck. His hesitation lasted for not more than a heartbeat before he returned the hug, one hand on her back and the other clutching the back of her head. They remained that way for several more heartbeats, her erratic breathing against his neck and his chin settled in her dark hair.

His hold on her only loosened when he felt her pulling away, stepping back but still keeping him within her reach. The burning light in the sky had grown into a scorching flame, burning brighter and bigger until the sky was awashed with colours. For the first time throughout the night, Jean finally got a clear view of her, the soft glow in her cheeks and the curve of her mouth when she spoke, "I'm so glad you're still alive."

"Me too. So… I'll see you tonight?"

"I would like that, I really would. Thank you, Jean."

IOIOIOI

_I try to avoid ships in Snk for the sake of avoiding further emotional trauma. The one ship that I did sail on was Levi/Petra and WELL WE ALL KNOW HOW WELL THAT WORKED OUT DON'T WE? /sobs/_

_Thank you for the lovely reviews and follows! I really appreciate them and I hope that I did okay with this chapter. _


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